


are you still down to clown, or what?

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Oral Sex, Other, POV Second Person, Perspective Switching, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 21:30:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12779910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You’ve had a flirty banter thing going on, and sure, Hanji is attractive, if they shower and wear something other than basketball shorts and brush their teeth and hair. And sure, you guys got drunk and made out once or twice or five times and okay, maybe after one of those times you drunkenly got yourself off to the thought of them. While they were asleep on the floor next to your bed. Last weekend.Shit.





	are you still down to clown, or what?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was started a year ago and finished on a whim. It's 4k words of smut for a very specific iteration of a pairing that very few people are into, but hopefully someone else out there enjoys it. It's a college AU, Hanji is nonbinary, and Levi is a trans man who uses masculine-coded words for his genitals.

Hanji is splayed out on your bed, shifting constantly and messing up your neatly-tucked in sheets. They’re playing Candy Crush on your phone- a download you did NOT consent to- and occasionally asking you weird and personal questions. You knew inviting them over to do homework was a mistake. The both of you got through four chemistry problems and then they were lying on the floor (disgusting, and you tell them so) and moaning about how they were just going to drop out and live in the woods. An hour later, you were still working and they were destroying your beautifully-made bed.

“Dude,” they say after a five-minute silence, “have you ever sucked a dick?”

“Four-eyes, what the fuck?”

“I have,” they say, with a hint of pride. “Two, actually.”

“I never needed nor wanted to know that.”

“But now you do-ooo!” Hanji sing-songs, likely for the express purpose of pissing you off. “So? Have _you?_ ”

“None of your business.”

“Hmmm. Your words say yes but your red-ass face is saying no. Levi, are you a mouth virgin?”

Whatever blush you allegedly have magnifies and your face feels hot.

“That’s not a real thing, jackass.”

“It is now, since you are one. Congrats!”

“Fuck off.” Not your best comeback, but you’re flustered. Of course they’re right- not about the mouth virgin thing, that’s absurd, but that you’ve never given a blowjob. Mostly due to you only dating one girl and one boy ever, the first for a month in middle school and the second for two-and-a-half weeks your senior year of high school before you came out to him. He called you a faker and a liar and you dumped his sorry ass a week before prom.

Now you’re in your sophomore year of college and Hanji has been your friend since freshman orientation when you had to share a room and they wouldn’t shut up when you said you thought sushi was too much of a risk. They started with ciguatera poisoning and were somehow on the causes of World War II by the time the RA knocked on the door the next morning to tell you to get up. And it was kind of a one-sided friendship for a while, but their constant presence in the dining hall and in two of your classes meant you really couldn’t escape. Before you knew it, you were officially friends with Hanji Zoe, no matter how often you bemoaned the fact.

Like now, while they’re still cackling on your bed, putting their feet on your pillows, smudging your phone with their greasy fingers. 

“Phone privileges revoked,” you say, and they pout. “If you like smartphones so much why don’t you drag yourself into the twenty-first century and get one?”

“Ugh, Levi, you know I can’t have one. Mom won’t pay for it, plus this is the only phone I can drop down three flights of stairs and still take a low-res selfie with after.”

“It’s a piece of shit. Though I guess that makes it perfect for you.”

“Don’t be a bitch, and you know I don’t mean it like that. My Tracfone is the only man I’ve ever loved.”

“I thought Tom Jones was the only man you ever loved.”

“It’s not unusual to love more than one man.”

“…You set me up _a year ago_ just to make that joke.”

Hanji winks at you, managing to keep a straight face for all of five seconds before breaking their façade and cracking up.

“Hanji, I just want you to know you’re the worst person on earth.”

“Thanks, boo!” they wheeze out, and you roll your eyes.

When they finally stop laughing (and it takes a while), they clear their throat and sigh.

“You never answered my question.”

You give up trying to dodge it, because it’s clear they’re not going to drop the matter. “No, Hanji. I have never sucked a dick. Happy?”

“Do you want to?”

For fuck’s sake. You thought that would get them off your back but evidently not.

“Who wants to know?”

“Your BFF Hanji, whomst thinks you’re hot.”

“Oh my God.” You cover your face, and graciously ignore the ‘whomst’.

You’ve had a flirty banter thing going on, and sure, they’re attractive, if they shower and wear something other than basketball shorts and brush their teeth and hair. And sure, you guys got drunk and made out once or twice or five times and okay, maybe after one of those times you drunkenly got yourself off to the thought of them. While they were asleep on the floor next to your bed. Last weekend. 

Shit.

*

You’ve been building up to this for a while. You like Levi. He’s funny and neurotic and attractive and he knows what it’s like to have a fucky gender identity, even if he’s binary and you’re not. The two of you have had plenty of stitch-and-bitch sessions about cis people Just Not Getting It. You feel comfortable with him, and you’re pretty sure he feels comfortable with you.

Also, you guys have made out like ten times while drunk, and after the last time you heard him jacking off and moaning your name while he thought you were asleep. So you don’t think you’re too off-base with asking him if he wants to get down and dirty.

He still hasn’t said anything so you extend your leg from the bed and nudge him with your foot. 

“Levi?”

“Fuck off.” His ears are red, probably like the rest of his face. It’s cute.

“C’mon, Levi, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. About us. About my hot butt.”

“I haven’t thought about sucking your dick, or your debatably hot ass.”

“Dude, we both know those are both lies.”

He goes quiet again, and still hasn’t lifted his head from his hands.

“Levi,” you say.

“I don’t want you to judge me.”

“On what? Also, I’m always judging you, stupid.”

“My body. My… my…”

“Your mouth virgin-ness?”

“I will never say that.”

“We’ll see! Also, why would I ever do that. I like your body, what I’ve seen of it. I’m sure I’ll like the rest.”

“I thought you didn’t like… I don’t know, me. Like that.”

“Never in my life have I said that. I like everybody, hashtag slut life. Especially you.”

“Sucking two dicks doesn’t make you a slut.”

“Being a slut is all about the attitude. The mindset.”

“You are a fucking disaster,” he says, but he’s laughing, smiling that smile you kind of love.

When he stops laughing, he’s looking at you with heavy eyelids and your stomach flip-flops. 

“Fine,” he pauses, and for once you keep your mouth shut, “I do like you. And I might be convinced to blow you.”

“That’s the spirit!” He kind of rolls his eyes at that one and you don’t blame him.

“So.” He says, and stands up.

“So.” You echo, and then he’s climbing on the bed, grabbing your face, kissing you like a starving man. It’s awesome and weird and hot and he’s almost immediately flicking his tongue against your lips, the thirsty hoe, and you let him in. He’s a little clunky and his teeth keep bumping your lips but you’re kind of getting hard anyways.

Without breaking the kiss, he straddles you and his body is so warm on and against you. You’re sitting up so you have to tighten your abs to hold you both up. He must’ve felt it because he sort of shivers against you and you smirk.

One of his hands is on your face, but the other is on your bicep so you flex it as you move your hand to his hip. That gets a straight-up moan and you are _elated_. Levi is into muscles. If he’s into muscles, he might be into strength and, if you’re lucky, maybe domination. You decide to test your hypothesis. 

He’s running his hand up and down your arm while his other hand sneaks from your face to the nape of your neck. Your hair is in a ponytail, like always, and you showered yesterday so it’s not too greasy. Careful fingers curl and uncurl on your sensitive skin and it’s on the line between tickling and stimulating. You dig your fingers into his hips and gently but firmly push him off your lap and flat onto his bed. You reach your arms up and pin his wrists above his head, and fuck if he doesn’t moan long and low. You love being right.

Levi is looking at you in a way you haven’t seen before- it’s intense, like you’re a puzzle he’s trying to solve. Like he’s waiting for you to sit up and say, ‘Just kidding!’ and he can’t figure out why it’s taking you this long. You kiss him again. 

It only takes one hand to keep his wrists where they’re at, and Levi is squirming under you as you slip your other hand under the hem of his shirt. You feel the bottom of his binder about where his ribs start, and trace a line along it. He’s trying not to giggle into your mouth and failing a little bit, because you definitely notice. 

“So,” you say, pulling back a little, keeping his arms pinned, “what’re your limits? What’s okay?”

“No penetration,” he says immediately, and you nod. “No piss or shit or vomit-“

“Jesus, what do you think I’m into?”

“-No hitting. No ass play, not this time.”

The mention of a ‘next time’ piques your interest, but you keep your mouth shut just in case asking about it makes him change his mind. And that was it for his list, apparently, because he just stares at you from where he’s flat on the bed. 

“So you’re cool to blow me?”

His cheeks flush red, again. “Yeah.”

“What’dya want from me? I’m down for pretty much whatever, like, I’ll eat you out, or-“

“Suck me off,” he says, and his being so blunt makes your dick throb.

“With pleasure,” you purr, and start to unbutton his pants. He helps by wriggling out of them, and there’s a pretty decent wet spot on the crotch of his underwear. You let go of his wrists so you can curl up by his hip. Your thumb finds the little nub of his cock through his boxers and you rub light circles around it, not trying to overstimulate him. Not this time, anyway.

“Somebody’s into this,” you hum, feeling how hard and wet he is even like this, through his underwear.

“Somebody’s wasting my time,” he says, probably trying to sound bossy and failing miserably. His breath keeps hitching and his hips twitch every time you thumb up the length of him. He’s so damn cute.

“You want me to do you first, or…?”

“Yeah. I don’t trust you to not fall asleep after you come.”

“Good call,” you say, tapping your nose and winking at him. He grimaces and then his head falls back as you lower yourself down and wrap your lips around him through his underwear. You’re tonguing him, getting him wet- wetter, technically- and he’s trying so hard not to buck his hips. You mouth over him for approximately 30 seconds before his thumbs are in the waistband of his boxer-briefs and he’s shoving them down, swearing at you for being such a tease, and throwing them onto his floor. Then he’s spreading his legs, propping himself up on his elbows, and. Wow. 

You’re not trying to wax poetic about your best friend’s junk, but hot damn. His cock peeks out from underneath the dark, thick hair that trails down from his belly button to his asscrack. Levi’s got the body of a twink and the body hair of a bear. There’s probably a word for that, but whatever. It’s hot. And it’s _groomed,_ is the thing, because of course it is. Then there’s his lips, slick and wet, and spread out as he is you can see his hole. Jesus Christ but you want to put your mouth all over this boy. He smells like sex, like musk and sweat and not to be dramatic, but you’re about to start drooling.

“Are you just gonna stare?” There’s that pseudo-bossy tone again, except this time with an undercurrent of embarrassment. That won’t do.

“Sorry, sorry. ‘s just not every day I get to see a work of art.”

“Ugh.” He rolls his eyes at you, but there’s a new blush spreading across his face, bright red and oh shit, there’s a good chance you’ve got it bad for this boy. 

You scoot down the bed and rest your head on his thigh, just looking at him up close. His pubes are slicked with his wetness and the smell of him is even stronger. He’s about to say something when you lean forward and drag your tongue from his hole over his cock, and whatever he was going to say just comes out as a strangled, “Fuck!”

“Mm,” you agree, wrapping your lips around him and drawing teasing circles around the base of his cock with your tongue. He’s bigger than you expected him to be, which is a nice surprise. Big enough that you can push his hood back with your tongue and directly tease his head. That earns you a groan, too, which you definitely like. He keeps thrusting his hips up, trying to fuck your mouth, and you’re going to let him.

Just not yet.

You pull away, letting a string of spit stretch between your lips and his dick, and he groans.

“The fuck?” He huffs, and you give him your most innocent expression. Kind of hard to do when your mouth is smeared with his slick, but you’re a pro.

“Oh, did you think I was gonna get you off?”

“Oh my GOD, four-eyes, are you fucking ki-“

As you wrap your lips around his cock again, he chokes on his words, and now you’re in it to win it. You make a bet with yourself that you can get him off in the next three minutes and by the noises he’s making, he’ll be lucky to last that long. Levi is back to humping your mouth, and you know it’s time to let him take the reins. You let him take what he needs, riding your tongue and grinding against you as he pants and grips the bedsheets. Those hands would be good in your hair, pulling tight, clenching when he comes. Mmm. 

You hum out loud, just to give him something extra, and he’s so close if the stuttering of his hips is anything to go by. You slide one hand up to squeeze his ass and pull him closer as you suck him off, tongue still laving over the length of him. You don’t know that he’s coming until he’s shoving your head away, swearing, and you watch his cock twitch. Cute.

Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you grin at him. “Good?”

“Fuck you,” he says, lying back and draping an arm over his eyes.

“Well, yeah, I mean. It’d be nice if you did.”

He lifts his arm up to squint at you. “I’m going to get you back for that bullshit stunt you pulled.”

Boy, you sure hope he does.

*

You’d honestly love to be sucking Hanji’s dick right now, but your body isn’t cooperating. All of your limbs feel like jelly and your head is still a little fuzzy. There’s a little part of you that worries you’re not going to make them feel as good as they just made you feel because holy shit. You have to take a few breaths before you can sit up, and when you do, Hanji has taken off their sweatpants and shirt, and they’ve got their ankles crossed, watching you. They’re wearing briefs, and they’re hard, cock straining against the fabric. They’ve got a bra on, too, bright neon pink that makes your eyes hurt just looking at it. 

Since you’re already staring, you take a moment to appreciate their body. They’re slim, but they’re _ripped_ and yeah, maybe you find that really hot. Really, _really_ hot. Looking at them and knowing they could bench-press you is maybe making you kind of hard again, but you push down your arousal. They’re looking back at you, head cocked just a little, hair framing their face in a way that’s really pretty. 

“Can I kiss you?” They ask, and you’re about to say yes when you remember-

“Not until you brush your teeth. Or at least use mouthwash. I don’t want my own jizz in my mouth.”

Hanji groans and rolls their eyes at you. “God, you’re so _boring_. It’s _hot_ to kiss somebody after you go down on them. I’d let you kiss me with a mouth full of _my_ cum.”

You grimace, thinking about how disgusting that would be. Hanji sighs. 

“Fine, jeez. No kissing until proper dental hygiene has been achieved. Now are you still down to clown, or what?”

“Not if you’re going to call it that,” you say, but yeah, you’ve stared long enough. You grab their shoulders, using them for balance as you kiss their neck. They giggle as you kiss and nip from their ear to their collarbone, and back up on the other side. For a second, you think about leaving a mark, but decide against it. In case this goes wrong and you fuck it up. You don’t want them looking in the mirror for a week and being reminded of what a mouth-virgin you are, god _damn_ it Hanji for making you think that phrase.

As you kiss down their chest, you slide their bra up over their tits, and you haven’t seen them naked like this before, somehow, but they’re- cute. Bigger than you thought they’d be, perky and soft to the touch. Hanji makes a high-pitched noise when you pinch their nipple, and a lower noise in their throat when you take it in your mouth. It’s firm after just a minute of rolling it between your lips and teeth, so you move to the other one and succeed in drawing another groan out of Hanji.

It sends a thrill through you, knowing it’s your mouth dragging these noises out of them, and you want more. You roll their other nipple between your fingers, gently twisting and pinching as Hanji starts to writhe. 

“Dude,” they whine, “fuck-“

You give their nipple one last suck and then you trail wet kisses (gross) down their stomach. You push them back gently, and they get the message, lying down beneath you. Fuck, they’re pretty all disheveled like this. And needy, apparently, because they’re pushing their underwear down, kicking it off, and lying back to look at you expectantly. 

You must be staring at them for too long, because their face softens a little, and they say, “You know you don’t have to do this, right? Like, you don’t owe me anything.”

“I know that,” you say, trying to hide your embarrassment at going too slow behind an indignant front. “It’s called foreplay.”

“Ooh, didn’t know I was being wined and dined.”

“Shut up,” you say, and just to prove a point, you take their cock in your mouth. The immediate sensation of the head on your tongue is- weird. There’s precum smeared across it which tastes salty and bitter, but it’s hot and heavy on your tongue and the way they twitch when you do it makes you want more. 

You open your mouth a little wider, hand wrapping around the base of their dick as you take them a little further. You don’t make it very far before you’re in danger of gagging, but there’s a pretty good portion of their dick in your mouth. As you pull back to take it in again, you try for a little bit deeper and you succeed. 

There’s no way you’re deepthroating them, definitely not today and probably not ever if there’s a chance of you throwing up, but sucking them off like this, using your mouth on what you can and your hand on the rest? This is great, especially because it’s drawing some incredibly lewd noises out of Hanji. It’s not surprising that they’re so vocal, given what a blabbermouth they are normally, but it’s nice. Which is something you never thought you’d say about Hanji being loud, but you’re experiencing a lot of firsts today. 

It’s a little bit awkward, trying to sync you your hand and mouth, but you get into a good rhythm after a few minutes and then their hands are in your hair, more following your movement than trying to take control. They’re leaking precum on your tongue, which, _gross_ , but you’ve made it too far to give up now. Hanji is breathing loudly, moaning your name as you bob up and down their cock. 

You glance up briefly to see them playing with their tits, head tilted back and eyes screwed shut. Oh, fuck. Oh, _fuck_. They’re gorgeous and you might love them a little bit, which is an unfortunate revelation to have with their dick in your mouth.

“Levi,” they huff, saving you from yourself, “fuck, Levi, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna-“

You pull your mouth off of them and stroke them through their orgasm, trying not to grimace as hot, sticky cum drips onto your hand. Hanji is shuddering beneath you, back arched, and you keep jerking them off until they’re groaning at you to stop. There’s cum splattered on their abs, running down their softening cock, and all over your hand. You try, you really fucking try, but you only last about a minute before you’re going into your bathroom, washing your hands (as thoroughly as you can as fast as you can) and getting a damp washcloth for Hanji.

When you walk back into your room, they’ve got one of their fingers in their mouth and they’re giving you what is probably supposed to be a sultry look. They pull their finger out of their mouth with a pop, and you see the smear where they’d dragged it through the cum on their stomach.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” you say, wrinkling your nose, “you are just _repulsive_ sometimes, you know that?”

“Oh, babe,” they say, and you try desperately not to let the _’babe’_ set the butterflies in your stomach a-fluttering, “you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“And I would like to continue seeing nothing.”

“See THIS,” they say, sticking out their tongue and grabbing their tits. 

“I’m seeing it.” You move closer and run the washcloth over their stomach and gently down their softening dick. It’s not _clean,_ really, but it’ll do. 

“Thanks,” Hanji says as you take the washcloth back to the bathroom and rinse it off. “You wanna cuddle?”

“As long as you don’t think you’re going to be the big spoon.”

“Ooh, I wasn’t thinking spooning at all, but I can roll with that. C’mere.” They sit up in your bed and start to wiggle under the sheets. You keep your mouth shut- you’ll just have to wash them later, it’s fine, holy shit Levi why are you like this.

“Yo, stop thinking about your sheets getting dirty and spoon me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumble, but you climb in bed behind them and wrap your arms around their torso. Hanji is warm and soft and their bra is still pushed up over their boobs.

“Do you want this off? Or at least, I don’t know, where it’s supposed to be?”

“It’s an avant-garde fashion statement, FYI, but yeah, sure, take it off. Let these bad boys breathe.”

You don’t feel like pointing out that they’ve been “breathing” for the last twenty minutes, so you just undo their bra and help them slide it off. 

“Thanks, boo.” They scoot back, pressing up against you, and it’s nice having them this close. Your nose is at the nape of their neck, and you can smell their shampoo- some artificial berry-scented abomination, probably from the dollar store, but it’s- it’s _them_. 

“I’m proud of you,” they mumble, clearly starting to fall asleep, “my li’l ex-mouth virgin.”

“I will leave this bed, I will call the RA, and I will have you expelled for bringing your bullshit into my place of living.”

“No,” Hanji snorts, “you won’t.”

They’re right, of course. Not that you’d ever admit it, but the only place you want them right now is here.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated and if you liked it, please let me know!


End file.
